


How To Be A Hero When A Tanuki Comes Calling

by lisachan



Series: Leoverse [230]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Mentions of Tanuki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:47:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22815694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisachan/pseuds/lisachan
Summary: Leo is having fun at the lake with Adam and Cody when suddenly a wild tanuki appears.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: Leoverse [230]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/30541
Collections: COWT - Clash Of the Writing Titans/Chronicles Of Words and Trials





	How To Be A Hero When A Tanuki Comes Calling

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING:** This story is an **AU** from the original 'verse. What happens in here has little to none correlation with what happens in Leonard Karofsky-Hummel VS The world or Broken Heart Syndrome. The characters involved are (mostly) the same, but situations and relationships between them may be completely different.  
> In this specific instance of the multiverse, Blaine is a Tanuki. I know, I know. I have no idea either.  
> Written for this week's COWT #10 M2, with prompt _Japanese folklore_.

Leo just _loves_ hanging out with Adam and Cody at the lake.

Adam is his closest friend, they’ve been basically glued together since before they were even toddlers. He feels at ease with him, they have fun together and their shared time is never boring. Plus, it’s thanks to him that he met Cody. And Cody is the best new addition to his life he’s ever had, so he will never stop thanking Adam for existing, being part of his life and giving him a chance to meet such a heavenly creature.

Cody’s not from around here – as a matter of fact he’s from a nearby village. Leo has never been there, because he’s lazy as hell, but Adam has, because he likes to draw and in their village there’s no one selling charcoal, while there is in Cody’s. So one day he just went there to buy some, and he met Cody trying to buy some from the same merchant. Except it was the last bit of charcoal the man had, or some other similar fateful bullshit, so they ended up splitting it, and then Adam invited Cody to come to his usual drawing spot, which is obviously the very same lake where they’re hanging out now, several months later, and there they met with Leo, and the moment Leo saw Cody it was done and over, he was conquered.

Cody is ridiculously cute. To a point that he’s almost laughable, because he looks just like a girl, and yet he’s so good-looking that he moves past the laughable region and turns around to go back to just beautiful. He’s all small and delicate, he’s so short Leo imagines if he had to kiss him he’d have to lean in quite a bit. (He imagines that often.) He’s also very pale and all soft, softer than any other boy Leo ever saw and also softer than most of the girls he knows. Sure, there are no boobs on him, but that, for some reason, doesn’t make him any less interesting.

He’s also the sweetest thing ever. He’s shy and a little coy, especially regarding his past. Leo and Adam have managed to make him admit he had a boyfriend once (which sent Leo into a low-key panic) but it’s over now between them (a notion that would’ve sent Leo on his knees, praying the gods for being so merciful, hadn’t he feared Cody would’ve thought he was crazy), but that’s basically all they could get out of him, and it required some effort.

Now, it’s been a few months since they started hanging out all together, and Leo thinks it’s about time he confesses his feelings. Once he does, he’s sure Cody will see that they would be amazing together, and from that moment on they will be able to hang out together without Adam, and hold hands, and kiss _all the freaking time_ , and then do more stuff Leo’s still not sure about, but that he’s heard about from older boys in the village square.

Today of all days is the perfect day because it’s only them in the water. Adam wanted to draw, not swim, today, and so he sat on the shore, on the broken stub of a dry trunk, took out his papers and his charcoal and he’s been portraying them and the landscape for about an hour, now.

It’s a hot summer day, and Leo has wanted nothing more than to bathe with Cody for the entire morning. He woke up with that thought – and an inexplicable turmoil in his pajama pants – and now that he’s doing it he feels truly blessed. He believes in the old faith of his village, saying that what you do in life only comes back to you a thousandfold in your next one, so you better be good, and as he watches Cody swim and then dive under the surface and then splash out of it only inches away from him to squirt water in his face he wonders what could he have done in his previous life to deserve such an amazing reward. He decides he must’ve been a hero and sets out to be a hero in his current life too, so to make sure Cody comes back to him when they both have been reborn next time.

That’s when something weird and unexpected happens. They hear some splashing next to them and when they look that way they see a man.

Except he’s a pretty strange man. Tall and fit, muscular torso, toned thighs. His skin is weird, tending towards a strange dark brown color with white patches on his tummy. He’s wearing nothing except a cone-shaped straw hat and a flimsy piece of cloth on his crotch, held up by a ridiculously thin string hanging around his waist.

The cloth does nothing to hide his sex, which is completely exposed. And that’s mainly because the thing is _huge_. Long and thick even now that it’s resting, and accompanied by the hugest set of testicles Leo has ever seen.

The first thing that happens when they see the man is that Cody immediately starts screaming at the top of his lungs.

“What?!” Adam yells, lifting his eyes from the papers, “What’s happening?” he puts everything down and throws himself into the lake without even taking his clothes off, joining them where they were playing, a part of the lake where the water barely gets to their mid-thighs, “Who are you?”

The man blinks, apparently very annoyed at his question. “What do you mean who am I, who are _you_ , if anything. I am the mighty Tanuki, a symbol of prosperity, wealth and abundance. Name’s Blaine. Nice to meet you.”

Leo immediately frowns. He has read about Tanukis in one of his dad’s ancient legends books. “Bullshit,” he says then, “Tanukis are Eastern spirits. We’re in the West here.”

“Seriously?” the man seems genuinely puzzled, “I must’ve been thrown off course by that evil red fox.”

“There are no red foxes around here,” Adam frowns.

“There are in the East,” the man nods.

“Stop lying to us!” Leo loses his patience, nervously hitting the muddy bottom of the lake with his foot and splashing water around in the motion, “There are no Tanukis in the West and you’re certainly no Tanuki! You’re just a pervert with a furry body suit.”

“Am I, now?” the man frowns, “So how do you explain these?”

And with those words, he lifts up the cloth, showing his member in its full glory. It is truly enormous, and those testicle are nothing if not terrifying.

Once again, Cody makes a sound, but it’s definitely a different sound than the one he threw before. That was a proper surprised and scared scream, this is more of a squeal. And when Leo hears that noise he instinctively turns to look at the boy and finds him watching the men through his fingers, which makes the fact that he brought both hands to his face to supposedly cover his eyes completely useless.

Leo swallows down air and dies a little inside when he sees him blush.

He turns his eyes on Adam, who looks back at him with the same worried eyes, and then decides it’s time to intervene.

“Cover that thing of yours!” he yells, turning towards the man.

He just smirks and nods towards Cody. “Seems like he’s enjoying the view, though,” he comments ironically, to which Cody blushes even more and finally covers his eyes with a weak whimper.

“Stop playing us!” Adam growls, putting himself between Cody and the man, “We’re not children, even though we’re still young enough that if the chief of the village knew you showed your _thing_ to us you’d be flayed alive by the militia.”

“I am a legendary being, practically a divinity,” the man shrugs, “I have been flayed alive many times and I’m still here.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m not bullshitting you,” the man shrugs again, “It happened that time I shapeshifted into a Buddhist monk and lived in that temple in Osaka for thirty years. At some point the villagers got suspicious that I seemed to never age and they put something in my drink that made me turn back to my original shape, and then I was flayed alive as a punishment. And also that time I killed that old woman.”

“You killed a woman?!” Leo gasps, horrified.

“Yes, but it was unintentional. Then I chopped her and cooked her and served her as soup to her unknowing husband.”

“Excuse me?!” Adam recoils like the man was made of fire.

“Don’t tell me that was unintentional too,” Leo comments with a light shiver.

“Don’t be silly, cooking someone is never unintentional,” the man waves him off.

At that point, Leo turns to Cody, hoping the new revelations coming from the man might have turned his interest down. But Cody is not hiding his face any longer, and his wondering eyes are now explicitly fixed on the man’s crotch. Hypnotized by it, the boy seems unable to look away.

That can only mean one thing: if Leo wants Cody’s attention back for himself, he must make the man disappear.

“Okay, listen...” he groans, pinching the root of his nose, “Where are you from, exactly?”

“Iriomote, Okinawa,” the man answers, “But I was traveling to Kuroshima. I heard there was a temple there the monk of which had just died and I was eager to take his place and live easy for a few years. But I was attacked by a fox and I had to jump into the ocean to lose it, and now I’m here. I told myself come on, Blaine, just swim for an hour, then come back, the bastard will be gone by then, but after an hour I didn’t know where I was anymore and there was only the ocean around me, so I kept swimming. I guess that’s how I arrived here.”

“Gods, this make no sense...” Adam whines, “You don’t even have an Eastern name! How can _Blaine_ be your name if you’re a Tanuki?!”

“My parents had international tastes.”

“Stop,” Leo groans, lifting a hand to silence him, “I don’t want to hear any more of your silly explanation. You say you come from Irio-nowhere and were going to Kuro-something? I will get you there. And then you’ll disappear from our life.”

“You would do that?” the man asks, smiling brightly, “Thank you! The moment we’re there, I will reward you with the one thing you desire the most.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.”

“I can do that, I’m a Tanuki.”

“Of course,” Leo murmurs. Then he turns towards Adam. “You’re helping.”

“What?! No!”

“You’re helping and that’s final,” he says, grabbing his best friend with a hand and the Tanuki with the other. “Let’s go.”

But that’s when he hears a muffled coughing sound, and he suddenly stops, turning to look at Cody. Who’s looking at him with such pure eyes Leo already knows, even before listening to what he has to say, that it will be impossible to tell him no.

“Can I help too?” the boy asks in a flimsy yet worryingly excited voice.

Leo whines, rolling his eyes. “Of course,” he surrenders without even fighting.

This is going to be a disaster, he already knows. But what else can he do? If he must be a hero, he better start now.

**Author's Note:**

> God, I CAN'T BELIEVE this is the 200th story of this series and it's about a friggin' TANUKI XD


End file.
